Is this me for good…?

I’ve not been about for a while. I’ve definitely hit a wall, emotionally. I’m not sure how or when it happened, but I’ve not been feeling myself for a while now. I reached out to Matt, Ali and my other friend, Neta about it and they helped a ton. I thought I could have possibly dealt with it by myself and hadn’t said anything for a few months, obviously that didn’t work. I broke down in tears to Matt and he asked me what’s wrong. I had no idea. Darcey wasn’t listening to anything I said to her, Marnie was being her usual whinge bag self and I just couldn’t handle it any longer. I can always tell Matt never knows what to say or do (he gives good cuddles though). It just feels like I’m failing as a mummy and a wife. I’m constantly telling the girls No and don’t feel like Matt and I are doing much together. But it could just be one of those situations when you’re just stuck in a rut and you have to get yourself out of it. I don’t know.

Ali and Neta both said I need to get back to exercising again and I know they’re right, I just don’t seem to have any motivation at the moment. Where can I buy some or do you have any spare?! Even Darcey has noticed that I don’t go to Triline anymore and asked when we’re going to go back. I’m not entirely sure that Triline is on my agenda at the moment. I’d like to get my fitness up by myself. I need to do that. I have to do that. I loved doing Insanity for the two months I did it, but just stopping probably wasn’t the best solution because now I’m in this situation emotionally. I’m not going to get to my goal of being two dress sizes smaller before Christmas just sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I want to exercise, I want to feel good about myself again.

So that’s me at the moment. Hopefully I can sort myself out and be me again.

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