I’ve been breastfeeding full-time for a while now, and while the journey is slowly winding down, I’ve been thinking about how I actually feel about it all.
Breastfeeding hasn’t been without its hurdles, but throughout it I’ve always admired the mums who have done formula and/or bottles from birth.
Trying to work out which formula agrees with your baby…
Getting up to prepare formula in the middle of the night…
Taking formula with you when going out…
Washing and prepping all the bottles…
Buying all the fancy gear.
…You deserve a medal.
Even the mums who pump… You’re incredible as well.
Because every route has its struggles.
Anyway, because of all the above…The thought of bottles always seemed overwhelming to me, and so I eventually decided I’d like to try to breastfeed.. If I could.
But the beginning of that journey (for me), was all pretty overwhelming too.
After bub was born & I’d had a bite to eat…
Everyone seemed to be doing everything, to try & get my milk to come in…
For the next few days..
It’s funny because I’d leaked the whole way through my third trimester, but then when I needed my milk to come in - it seemed to disappear altogether.
So came all the foreign hands trying to help me “hand-express”.
Not to mention the many eyes watching as I sat there, totally out of my comfort zone…
…Totally exposed & completely overwhelmed with a new baby in my arms.
Just trying my best not to cry.
And then when it did come - it came in hard and fast.
But so did the nipple pain.
So then I was googling “over-supply” along with “raynauds” for the next 8 weeks, until randomly one day… The pain just stopped.
Looking back, my boobs were like rocks between feeds for the first 6 months, and now I’m pretty sure that’s because I was feeding on demand.
Eventually I was taught how to spread feeds out effectively (while ensuring bub wasn’t hungry), which helped us in many ways.
But aside from that, I almost stopped multiple times in those early weeks due to the pain.
My nipples were so sore I’d tense my whole body just to latch baby on.
It felt like I was just gritting my teeth and waiting for the pain to stop…
…Then one day, it just, did.
And then came mastitis.
Twice.
The first time I knew nothing about it, so it landed me in hospital.
The second time, I caught onto it quicker and wasn’t as mentally-scarred coming out of it.
Now, I still get lumps in my left boob consistently - but if I aim to massage my lymph nodes while feeding - I think this has been what’s helped keep things flowing properly.
Don’t take my word for it though, I’m just a first-time mum winging my way through.
But while it hasn’t been a totally smooth ride…
…Overall, I am grateful I persevered in the beginning, and I feel extremely privileged that my milk came in… As well as grateful, for the encouragement that led me to breast feed full time.
I also still have major respect for the bottle, and the benefits of going that route.
So as we near 12 months, and we’re slowly starting to reduce feeds + move away from breastmilk…
What’s helped me has been dropping feeds very (and I mean VERY) slowly. Like, one every few weeks kinda thing… And only if he seems ready for it.
And I definitely have the mixed feelings you hear so many mums talk about.
I’ll miss the easy latch when he’s hungry…
The extra bonding time with my baby…
And those times where it’s the only thing to calm him down.
But I also wouldn’t mind being able to go out to dinner with my Husband, without worrying about having rocks on my chest.
And since it was so helpful for us… Let me just leave you with our favourite bottle of all time…
After a lot of trial and error, the NUK Perfect Match bottle/teat has been the only one our little guy will actually take.
I got mine from Bear & Moo, of course.
Sending love to all the mums, and parents/care-givers doing their best.
Charly x
